The following criteria are used to diagnose sexual addiction:
(Three or more indicate an addiction)
- Recurrent failure to resist sexual impulses in order to engage in specific behaviors.
- Frequently engaging in those behaviors to a greater extent, or over a longer period of time than intended.
- Persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to stop, reduce, or control those behaviors.
- Inordinate amounts of time spent in obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experiences.
- Preoccupation with sexual behavior or preparatory activities.
- Frequently engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic, or social obligations.
- Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the problem.
- The need to increase the intensity, frequency, number, or risk level of behaviors in order to achieve the desired effect; or diminished effect with continued behaviors at the same level of intensity, frequency, number, or risk.
- Giving up or limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities because of the behavior.
- Distress, anxiety, restlessness, or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior.
Without treatment, overcoming sexual addiction can be very difficult. Overcoming sexual addiction requires hard work and complete and total commitment to full recovery. In doing so, sexual addiction recovery becomes a life shift that opens up hope and the possibility for change. Additionally, partners and spouses of sex addicts have specific consequences and require help as well.
What Sex Addiction is NOT
The diagnosis of sexual addiction is not necessarily made if an individual engages in fetishistic or paraphilic sexual arousal/behavior (such as cross-dressing, sadomasochism, etc.) Such behaviors may lead people to keep sexual secrets, to feel shame or distress, and even to feel out of control, but these activities are not considered sexual addiction, per se. Nor are unwanted same-sex attraction or bisexual arousal patterns/behavior. Sexual addiction is not in any way defined by what or who an individual finds arousing. Instead, it is defined by repetitive patterns of sexual behavior utilized to self-medicate and/or stabilize emotional distress. Sex addiction is also not automatically diagnosed in people who have active mania (due to bipolar or some other disorder) or in people who are actively abusing drugs or alcohol, as these other emotional and addictive challenges must first be ruled out.
How Much is Too Much?
The current psychological literature trends about “How much is too much” has evolved over the years. It is no longer acceptable to quantify (or put a number) on how many times a day is too much. Rather, we look at it from a quality of life lens; meaning that an 18-year-old can have sex or masturbate several times a day and still considered “okay”. The problem, we believe, becomes a problem when the sexual acting out behavior negatively affects other areas of life. For example, having unprotected sex with many anonymous partners and thereby putting oneself at risk to contracting STDs or HIV; masturbating to the point of injury; missing school or work because he or she is busy engaging in or recovering from the sexual activity; continues behavior despite consequences (loss of job, legal problems, broken relationships, etc) is what constitutes a problem.